Arnie ten

Illustration published by the Washington Post.

Illustration design for thank you note. copyright C.R. GIbson Co.
 

Illustration design for a birthday invitation. copyright The C.R. Gibson Co.

Illustration for About Long Island article on teenagers clothes swapping.

(must' go) n. Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long it has become a science project.

(ak wa deks' trus)  adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

(bo vil eks' e uh) n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you pass a cow.

(or oh suk' chew us) adj. Being able to hold a glass to one's face by sheer lung power.

(lub) n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges itself between one's teeth.

(twinch) n. The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise.

(slu' paj)n. The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers.

(tyl kom' it) n. Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom.

(ban' dyl) n. The thin red strip one pulls to release a Band-Aid.

(hee' moh plugz)  n. Small pieces of toilet paper applied to shaving wounds.

(pie' ruh mon stur) n. That thing with one big eye on the back of a dollar bill.
 

n. Any empty dish pushed around the kitchen floor by a dog trying to get the last morsel.

n. The removal of bruises on a banana.

(burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

(cheer ee oh mag net i zay' shun)  n. The tendency of the last four or five Cheerios in the bowl to cling together for survival.

n. The one apple, pear, or tomato in the stand that, when removed, causes all the others to tumble forward.

n. A condition that suddenly develops in a father's arm during a vacation trip that allows him to reach out and slap you from incredible distances.

n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball and palmed it behind his back.

n. The sound a yawning dog emits when it opens its mouth too wide.

n. The upward swirl of hair found on certain individuals such as Ronald Reagen and Big Boy.

n. The knob at the top of the bathroom scale.

n. Those strange green mailboxes that are completely sealed off, the insides of which no civilian has ever witnessed.

n. The endearing quality of wet dogs to get as close to you as possible before shaking themselves dry.

n. Blatant lies and illogic that mothers use to discourage "dangerous" activity among children (i.e., "What if your face freezes like that?").

n. Air bag created in the front of one's trunks when entering a swimming pool.

n. Those giant metal structures in which monsters in science fiction movies get their feet entangled.

ETCHACHACHA (etch' ah cha'cha)  v. The jerky movements you arms and hips make when erasing an Etch-A-Sketch.

LARSENTIOUS (lar sen' tee us') adj. Consulting The Far Side before addressing any other part of the newspaper.